I’m Engaged! – My Real Life “Jane Austen” Story

Dear, dear readers,

I have the very best of news to share with you.  Many of you who follow this blog will have already seen my fiance on here a long time ago, though I had not a clue back then what would happen.  God always has surprises in store.

You may recall that time that I sewed the Scarlett Ohara ballgown for a dance – you know, that huge ivory and dark green dress that I crafted using an incredibly rare 1940s pattern – Hollywood Pattern 1988…  Well, it just so happens that the first man who asked me to dance at that Civil War ball, would later end up asking me to marry him!  So yes, I met my fiance at an English Country dance.  (I must warn you that there will be a lot of Jane Austen quotes in this story – if you don’t recognize some of the British sounding lines, a thorough viewing of Pride & Prejudice may answer your questions.)

“Do You Care to Dance?”

It was a humid summer day in 2014, when 150 of us dancers were crowded into a large barn, all clad in 1860s attire…  I knew not a soul in the room but had attended this dance to have an excuse to sew my Scarlett O’Hara ballgown.  The dance caller announced for all the men to ask someone to dance, and I didn’t expect to be asked right away as most everyone else in this group already knew each other.  But suddenly a smiling young guy appeared out of nowhere and asked if I wanted to dance.  He took us to the very top of the line where we waited for the music to begin.  We introduced ourselves, but didn’t have much conversation beyond that.  Well, the dance was grand fun, and I never have more fun than when I’m dancing!  I grew up in ballet, so any time I go to a ball I’m always having the time of my life.  It turns out that this man took a liking to me right then and there, though it would take a little while for me to get a clue…

 After that Civil War ball, I started attending a regular class for English Country dance, which Lars (the guy I told you about), also happened to be at.  Before too long I realized that he was always asking me for the first dance…  But he was so quiet and serious that I didn’t think much of it.  He hardly talked and was always very proper around girls (a rare quality in guys nowadays).  So I would have been utterly shocked (and pleasantly surprised!) if I had known way back then that he was praying about me…

 “An Accomplished Young Lady”

Everything changed at a rather monumental ball, where his sweet mother started telling me all about her son and how I needed to talk with him.  She told me that I was “a very accomplished young lady”, which was a well-chosen compliment on her part for a girl who had spent too much time watching Jane Austen films.  She told me all about Lars’ achievements, his career, and his awards in college.  (There were a lot of them.)  “You have so much in common!  You are both self-starters and you should talk to him!”  I was honored she thought I was someone who should “get together” with her son, but I really didn’t think he wanted to talk with me…

Later that night, we had the chance to start talking beyond “small talk”.  Our dance caller could mysteriously not find the music for several minutes, leaving us waiting for the dance to start with nothing to do but talk… When Lars started mentioning specific details of things he had read on my Facebook page from months earlier, I thought, “He looks at my Facebook page?”  I mean, he had sent me a friend request months earlier, but I’d never once seen Lars “like” or “comment” on anything.  It was refreshing to talk with a guy who was a genuine person and wasn’t trying to show off or use stupid pickup lines.

“I Like Him Very Well Indeed”

Well, there were a few teary weeks when I didn’t exactly know what was going on…  I did very much want to talk with him, but I wanted it to be *his* idea if that was going to happen.  We had no communication except for dance class, so I just had to wait every two weeks till the dance came around.  Then I got a bad case of pneumonia and had to miss a dance class, and I was concerned that he’d interpret my absence as not wanting to talk with him anymore…  So to solve the problem, I posted a quote from Pride & Prejudice on Facebook to let all my dancing friends know the real reason I wasn’t there!  (See below.)  Thank God for Jane Austen.

 Meanwhile, I had a lot of time to think and pray, and I did quite a bit of research online about Lars.  I found articles about science research conferences he presented at while he was still in college, and awards he’d won for his work.  I read his blog and his Facebook page *very* thoroughly, and you know what I found?  He had written as the caption of his college graduation portrait some years back, “It is a fact universally acknowledged that a young man in possession of a college degree *must* be in want of a job.”  And I facetiously said aloud to myself, “Okay, this might work.”  He just basically quoted the first line from Pride and Prejudice, people.  But what meant the most to me was the fact that I saw he was person of very upstanding character from everything I read.  There were no sketchy photos or questionable films on his FB page, unlike the majority of young people I knew at the time.  My faith in Jesus is incredibly important to me, so I always knew that anyone I would consider would have to be a strong Christian.  After reading more about him, I started hoping that we could get to know each other better!  And somewhere in the back of my mind, I said to myself, “If this works out and we end up getting married, this is going to be a story for the history books.  ‘I met my husband at a ball while wearing a Scarlett O’Hara ballgown I had sewed myself’…”

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“A Most Agreeable Young Man”

The next time I went back to dance class, everything was different.  Lars started talking with me a lot and it felt like things were going somewhere.  I had prayed that some of us could go out after dance class that night which had never happened before.  Lo and behold, a newly married couple invited several of us to go to a restaurant after the class.  There were about twenty people at class, but they only invited four of us out to eat.  Two of those four were Lars and I.  I could hardly believe it.  God was very gracious, and we had a wonderful time talking.  [Editor’s note years later: The background we came from was not ideal for young people to get to know each other – it was difficult to have opportunities to talk, as people expected you didn’t get into a relationship until you were practically ready to marry.  But you can’t marry without getting to know each other, so… it was a much bigger “thing” than for the average couple, that we had an avenue to communicate.  I hope future young generations have it easier!]

“To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love…”

Then there was this advanced ball we attended, where I knew we liked each other quite a lot.  He showed up in his tuxedo, and I wore a dark purple silk dress I’d sewn. We’d been dancing together for so many months by this point that it seemed quite natural, and our friends were starting to see us as a couple.  This advanced ball, as you would guess, contained more advanced dances.  We’d had to pass an exam to be allowed to attend this event.  We were both doing our best and nailed them.  It was the most wonderful time of talking and dancing, and I was thinking, “I think this is *the guy*.”  Afterwards, he walked me back to my vehicle.

“They Seem to be Very Fond of Each Other” 

After that ball, Lars started messaging me on Facebook.  Quite a lot.  Like 13,000 messages in the first two months… I can’t tell you what a relief it was to have him start communications so we could talk!  (If there are any guys reading this that need to get up the nerve to start talking with someone you like – for goodness’ sake please do!  It’s better to know one way or the other than have things in limbo…)  We discovered that we lined up on basically everything.  (Cats, not dogs.  Tea, not coffee.  We didn’t like the idea of people smashing cake in their new spouse’s face at weddings.  We would use forks instead.)  His knowledge of the Bible was astonishing to me, and I’d never in my life had such in-depth spiritual conversations with someone.  One Scripture would lead to another, and before I knew it, it was eleven at night and we had to sign off…

We decided to make our relationship official on Facebook, but all our friends said they’d seen it coming for months.  In a few short weeks, my whole life changed in the most wonderful way.  He would come to my side of town every Saturday, and I would drive to see him on Sundays on the west side of town.  We took long walks, met each other’s church friends, and went to see The Sound of Music in theaters when it was re-released for the 50th anniversary.  We went hiking, danced exclusively with each other now at dances, and went out to dinner at a retro diner…

I suddenly found all my vases being put to use as Lars brought me flowers every week.

A Funny “Coincidence”…

One night while messaging, we both felt that the Lord gave us specific confirmation that we were on the right track:

We’d been talking about the book of Acts, when an idea popped into my head.  I wrote on Facebook chat, “Have you ever heard of the book called The Heavenly Man?”  (This is a book which describes a Chinese pastor who was persecuted for his faith in prison, and had miraculous escapes.)

About half a second later I saw the comment get sent again, and I thought, “Now that was weird!  How did I send it twice?”

No wait.  It was worded slightly differently. Lars had asked the same book less than a second later, and we both sent them at the same time… His read, “Have you read The Heavenly Man?”  (I took screenshots to prove it.)

Lest you think that this is just a coincidence, let me assure you that we had never talked about this book before.  It is not a well-known Christian book.  In fact, Lars is the only other person I’ve talked to who had already read it.  So we both realized, “Wow!  God is trying to tell us something!”  The odds that we would both randomly ask the exact same question about an obscure book within half a second of each other are not good.  In fact, they are rather astronomical.

An Engaging Announcement!

I think our close friends and families were not remotely surprised when we got engaged earlier this spring!  I knew without a doubt, that this was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.  We’d both been through a lot for young Americans of our age, and understood a lot of each other’s stories.  It was the cliche phrase, “Where have you been my whole life?”  We were friends, best friends, and soulmates.

We had our engagement pictures taken at my all-time favorite photo shoot location, which many of you will recognize from the “Liesl’s Dancing Dress” pattern.

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To My Fellow Young Ladies

So to all the single girls who have not (yet!) met the right person, I want to encourage you to not settle for anything less than what God has for you.  I’m not talking about finding a “perfect” man, because perfect people don’t exist.  What I do mean is that when the Lord brings the right person along, you’ll know!  And don’t believe for a minute that you are any less valuable than the married woman or the girl in a relationship.  Stay faithful to the Lord.  I know what it’s like to finish reading one of these relationship stories and go back to “normal” life and think, “Gosh, I’ve never met any good guys.”  But let me tell you, girls, when God decides it’s time, He will knock your socks off with His blessings!  God saved Lars and I for each other, and I know He is doing the same for each one of you.  Good men are rare, but the Lord has been in the matchmaking business a long time, and He has a way of bringing them together!

I think that whole thing of, “Once you’re content, God will bring you a spouse,” stuff is nonsense.  I was content for years while single.  Similarly, there are lots of people who got married while they were discontent and are still unhappy.  So don’t feel like, “Well, since I’m not married, it must mean I’m not content enough.”  The Bible never says that that’s the reason single people aren’t married yet.  So don’t get discouraged!

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I’ve been so busy sewing my wedding dress and planning my wedding, that I’m awfully late in letting you all know about it, but rest assured that I will share all the wedding content here!

Till next time,

Katrina

P.S.  I’m marrying the first man I ever kissed.